Kids aren't for everyone

     Why do older people think everyone needs to have kids? Why is it so hard for them to believe a young woman has no desire to have children? Especially after you get married, I have never heard so many people ask me about having kids until I said, I do. 

     I don't want kids, I've never really been a kid person. We have a mutual dislike for each other. I know it's hard for my large family to deal with, me not wanting children. And I do sometimes have a small twinge of guilt, when I see my Dad play with my dog and I think about how he would be such a good grandpa. Unfortunately that's not enough for me to have children. 

    I already had the "you're being selfish," thrown at me a time or two when I told someone, actually I believe that was from my Dad. It hurts when people tell you things like that about a decision you've made. It's almost like they would rather you have children and regret it than to live the way you want. 

    A lot of people have told me "you'll change your mind when you get older," no I really don't think I will. I have never liked kids, I've never had a fascination with babies either. When my sister sees a young child she always gushes over them, not me. I sit there and hope it doesn't see me. 

    My Mom is the same way as me, she said she loves her kids but she doesn't get goo goo eyed at any other child she sees. She is actually one of the few that told me not to have kids. My grandma and me next door neighbor told me not to have them if I absolutely did not want them. And I agree with them, unless I magically change my mind I should not have any. Because I know myself and I really think I would regret and maybe even resent them. 

    I don't have a perfect body now but I workout regularly and I'm getting more and more comfortable in my own skin, a child would wreck havoc on my body. I don't know if I could get over that. Someone told me I wouldn't even think about it but I think they were lying. As much as I put into getting my body this way, there's no way I could NOT care about it being mushy and even more full of stretch marks. With my anxiety as it is now, I would get Postpartum depression. Is that really how people want me to start my life with children? By being depressed?